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Friday, June 29, 2007

Junk Food

The following tattoos are in a new category of bad tattoos: Good Execution, Bad Idea. These tattoos are all done well (some of them amazingly well), and they are such terrible, horrible, awful ideas that they come around full-circle and are possibly the coolest tattoos ever. Only the truly brave and awesome can pull off having a greasy junk food item tattooed on their body for the rest of their life.
This entry is dedicated to BCO. Pizza Forever!

Pizza! (sorry for the bad quality photo):


Pizza and Monkeys and Pot Bellies, oh my!


Flaming Burger:


Summer Vacation Burger:


Monster Burger (done by my favorite tattoo artist, Myles Karr):


And finally, related but not as awesome- McDonald's Boy:

Wizards

Please let me state that I have a huge soft spot for wizard tattoos. They are pretty much always terrible (let me know if you have seen a good wizard tattoo), but charming, in a weird kind of way. I don't really know why I like bad wizard tattoos so much, because I certainly don't find bad fairy tattoos charming (or even good fairy tattoos). Anyway, here is a bevy of awesomely awful wizard tattoos:

Hairy Red-Eyed Floating Head Wizard:


Meek Purple Wizard:


Yin-Yang "POUNDER" Wizard (the bats are really cool though):


Death Wizard:


Space Wizard (I love love love this dude):


Blasty Wizard:


Wizard-That-Doesn't-Look-Like-A-Wizard 1 (the website I found it on clearly stated that it was a wizard):


Wizard-That-Doesn't-Look-Like-A-Wizard 2:


And, for the grand finale, Not Safe For Work Wizard (thanks Jen):
click here to see NSFWW

Bad Portraits

One of the most unfortunate tattoos that you can have is a badly done portrait, and sadly there are a lot of them out there.
Here is the first of what I am sure will be many installments of Bad Portraits:

The details are what makes this tattoo truly awful. The tattoo of her chest tattoo. The hands (which aren't even in the photo). The cheekbones. The teeth.


This is my favorite bad portrait. It's shark-zombie-bride. I feel so sorry for the guy who got this. Again, note the teeth.


This poor guy has a zombie child on his arm. She doesn't have shark teeth- she seems to be suffering from the opposite problem: gummy mouth.



Okay, this one isn't executed so terribly (I'm sure when it healed it looked pretty decent) but it's creepy as hell!


From the same place that brought you creepy thumbs-up dude, we have creepy-cutter-angel (complete with tattoos-of-tattoos):

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Star Wars

I bring you three wonky Darth Vaders, one zombie Leia, and an amazing back piece:





Monsters

Today's theme is monsters! I have some gems for you. I actually have a huge soft spot for terrible 80's metal looking tattoos. There's something about the wonkiness that makes them awesome, but only if they are of really brutal monsters. Or maybe wizards.

I think this is a vampire dark elf zombie monster, but I am not really sure. Also, what is spearing the left eye? A tail of something even more sinister?


I actually kind of love this one. I can't figure it out! I think it has three heads, a bunch of bulging muscles, some horns, some hands doing the claw (my favorite), and the weirdest lower body I have ever seen.


This is the best hellhound-in-a-graveyard EVER, but only because he has a really wicked goatee. I think it is from Big Dogz Ink. The skull looking woefully upwards is a great bonus.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Skull tattoos

I love skull tattoos so very, very much. I have nine of them myself. But these ones? Not so much to love about them.

Is this a welder skull? He looks like he is melting!


Does this skull have a cigarette coming out of his head? And what is the big log behind him?


I couldn't figure the other two out, but I really can't figure this one out. What is this? Alien angel quarterback skull?


** update! Apparently Skull #2 is a skull bong. That pretty much makes it more awesome/awful all at once.

Fantasy Failures

Fantasy gems from Big Dogz Ink:

Unicorn tattoos are awesome! Tribal tattoos are not. Wonky unicorns floating astride a tribal piece? Totally awful.



This wizard is almost awesome. He's grizzled and has a cool staff, but his hand is melting, his beard and his cloak meld into each other, and the whole tattoo looks scratched.



And from Headlight Tattoo (not all their stuff is terrible, so it's not as fun as Big Dogz, but there are some gems in the galleries if you search)


Okay, so the color choices in this fairy aren't that bad, but the proportions? The smooshed face? The hair? The floppy left hand? (the right hand claw is kinda sweet though.) The weird shading in the dress?

Thursday, June 14, 2007

The Iceman

In 1992, at the very border of Austria and Italy, high up in the Alp Mountains, the body of a man was found, and as they realized that he was more than 5000 years old, they realized they had found a sensation. He had been under ice for all those years, so his body, clothes and equipment was extraordinarily well preserved.

He was tattooed! In all 58 tattoos has been counted on his body. His tattoos were only simple dots and little lines.

That he was tattooed, was of course not a coincidence. It was probably totally normal for people at his time to be tattooed.

Since the tattoos does not represent anything - like animals and the like, speculation has been made as to their meaning. The truth will never be found, but theories and speculations will be made!


Pictures from the book:
Paul G.Bahn
"The Story of Archeology,
Weidenfeldt & Nicholson, 1996 "

Thursday, June 7, 2007

The Ballad of Kokopelli

The Ballad of Kokopelli

A strange lonely figure stares out of the past
where engraved by an artist in stone
Held firm by the sand in which he is cast,
these last thousand years quite alone.
Could he be listening, trying to hear
moccasins scuffing the butte?
Bringing the people once again near
to hear Kokopelli's sweet flute?

His image inscribed on a thousand rock faces
from east to the great western sea;
From Sonora's hot sun to the north glaciers bases,
proclaiming this loved tutelary.
Though powers possessed and methods employed
are often in open dispute;
One thing is agreed, the people did love
to hear Kokopelli's sweet flute.

This stick figure man, with a hump on his back
seemed always to cast a good feeling;
His magic perhaps, taken out of his pack
would comfort the sick and do healing.
Whatever his talents, they surely were grand,
a fact no one cares to refute,
As people would come from afar in the land,
to hear Kokopelli's sweet flute.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Tattoo Designs

























Thanks to xprodoksit , Teşekkürler xprodoksit



Kokopelli Legend

The legend of Kokopelli is wonderfully rich and entertaining. Though, his origin as a deity and the evolution of his role in Southwestern Indian culture is difficult, if not impossible, to reconstruct. Evidenced by a huge number of ancient artifacts, it is clear that Kokopelli was important to many Native American tribes. He is especially prominent in the ancient Anasazi culture of the "Four Corners" area (Colorado, Arizona, New Mexico, and Utah). Some have compared his importance to the Southwestern Indians to that of Abraham to the Jews and that of Paul to the Christians.

Still revered by current descendants of Native Americans (including the Hopi, Taos, and Acoma Pueblo peoples), he is truly one of the most intriguing and widespread images to have survived from ancient Indian mythology. His whimsical nature, charitable deeds, and vital spirit are the primary reasons why he achieved such a prominent position in Native American mysticism. He possessed a playful, carefree nature that seemed to bring out the "good" in everyone. Kokopelli is so irresistibly charismatic that he has been reinvented time and time again for thousands of years by storytellers, artists, and craftsmen. Many people, like the hosts of KokOasis.com, believe his magical properties still delight and abound.

Known to some as a magician, to others he was a storyteller, teacher, healer, trickster, trader, or god of the harvest. Some even credit Kokopelli with being the "original" journalist. Almost universally however, he was regarded as a harbinger of fertility, assuring success in hunting, growing crops, and human conception. The Anasazi, who were first to claim Kokopelli, were primarily farmers who grew corn, beans, and squash on the Colorado Plateau. They regarded Kokopelli as a fertility symbol and he was always welcomed during corn planting season. A visit from Kokopelli insured that a good harvest was in store. According to Navajo legend, Kokopelli was the God of Harvest and Plenty - a benign minor god who brought abundant rain and food to people. The Zuni also regarded him as a Rain Priest, able to make it rain at will.

Others regarded him as a Spiritual Priest with actual healing powers. When Hopi women could not bear children, they would seek him out because he was able to restore their childbearing powers. According to Hopi legend, Kokopelli spent most of his time sewing seed and seducing the daughters of the village while his wife, Kokopelli Mana, ran after the men! The Winnebago believed Kokopelli was capable of detaching his penis (ouch) and sending it down the river to "have his way" with the innocent young maidens who were bathing in the stream.

The lore of southern Utah paints Kokopelli as a little man who used to travel throughout the villages carrying a bag of corn seed on his back, teaching the people how to plant as he traveled. He was also said to have traded beads and shells for pieces of turquoise. Some speculate that this image of Kokopelli may have been derived from traveling traders of the time who announced their arrival by playing a flute as they approached - a tradition that is still practiced in Central America.

Many different legends exist about what Kokopelli actually carried in his sack. In Pueblo myths, he carried seeds, babies, and blankets to offer the maidens he seduced. According to the Navajo, his hump was made of clouds filled with seeds and rainbows. In the Hopi village of Oraibi, they believe he carried deer skin shirts and moccasins which he used to barter for brides or babies which he left with the young women. Others believe that Kokopelli's sack contained the seeds of all the plants and flowers of the world, which he scattered every Spring.

According to San Ildefonso legend, Kokopelli was a wandering minstrel who carried songs on his back, trading new songs for old ones. According to this legend, Kokopelli brought good luck and prosperity to anyone who listened to his songs. Kokopelli embodied everything pure and spiritual about music. He and his magical flute traveled from village to village bestowing gifts and spreading cheer to all whom he visited. His flute was said to symbolize happiness and joy. When he played his flute, the sun came out, the snow melted, grass began to grow, birds began to sing, and all the animals gathered around to hear his songs. His flute music soothed the Earth and made it ready to receive his seed. The magic of his flute was also thought to stimulate creativity and help good dreams come true.